Author’s Note: I write a monthly ‘women and workplace’ column for a nationally syndicated newspaper. For the first time ever, my editors pushed back on me: they were worried that this column was too “negative.”

For every working mom out there who feels the world is talking the talk better than their workplace is walking the walk: I see you.

This open letter is to all the bosses from all the working moms of Something Major. This isn’t about being negative, this is about being real. This Mother’s Day, let’s have honest conversations and let’s get people educated: both on the real state of play and what actions they can take daily to make our workplaces more equitable ones for working moms.

Happy Mother’s Day to every mom in the Something Major community. To all the non-moms out there, celebrate us by hearing our message… and thanks for keeping an open mind while you listen.

Dear Boss,

Thanks for all the articles you’ve forwarded to me in the last year and for being gracious when my kids zoom-bombed our meetings on a daily basis. Working motherhood has always been hard, even before a pandemic, so I’m glad things have clicked.

While I have your attention, and given all your concern about me, here’s a wishlist of what I’d like this Mother’s Day. Hint: it’s not flowers.

Please don’t tell me how wonderful your maternity leave policy is. Promote me while I’m pregnant instead of asking me if I’ll really be back.

Please don’t remind me how flexible your policies are when I do things like sign off early to take my kids to the dentist. Recognize that I got eight hours of work done in six hours while my colleagues were watching cat videos.

Please don’t remind me that I can “leave early” to get my kids. Remember that while you’re watching Netflix from your couch at 9:00pm, I’m writing you emails from my computer.

Please don’t assume I’m at my capacity and “mom track” me. Please ask me about my goals, and put me on the path to promotion and leadership.

Please don’t simply share an article about how stressed working moms are. Staff my team appropriately so my non-parent-colleagues and I all have a reasonable, manageable workload that can actually be completed during a regular workday.

Please don’t assume I wouldn’t want to take the work trip, lead the pitch or attend the conference because of my family obligations. Ask what gets me excited, respect my aspirations when I say “heck yes,” and respect my boundaries when I “no thank you.”

Please don’t compliment me for being so great at organizing the logistics or taking wonderful meeting notes. Take the office housework off of my plate.

Finally, I’m so glad you saw that viral New York Times article about the “Primal Scream.” Please don’t tell me you “get it now.” Listen to our battle cry and join us on the frontline of making our workplaces better places.

XOXO

The Working Moms of Something Major

Dear Boss: A Mother's Day Open Letter

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