Forbes Coaches Council Post: A Working Parent's Summer Survival Guide: Overcome The Summer Scramble
Randi Braun is a member of the Forbes Coaches Council, where this post was first published on Forbes.com. Randi is the CEO of Something Major and the Wall Street Journal Bestselling author of Something Major: The New Playbook for Women at Work.
What do you think about when you think about the summer?
Personally, my brain flashes through a pre-kids montage of idyllic days spent on the beach and nights spent having barbecues and Italian ices on my native Long Island.
Thinking about summer nearly a decade into working parenthood, my brain goes to a very different place: calendars, camp drop-offs and Hunger-Games-level jockeying to get my kids into those camps (and the hefty credit card bill that comes with it) just so they have care during the day. All while I have less work time, and a schedule that changes day to day and week to week.
The "Summer Scramble" Hits Working Moms Harder
According to Stanford University, that change in routine—or what I’ve called the "summer scramble" for many years in my house—is systemic. It’s not just an issue in my family or yours, but a labor force issue affecting moms disproportionately compared to dads.
While the research shows that caregivers of all genders reduce working hours in the summer (note: mostly due to childcare demands, not fabulous vacations, no matter what TikTok says) those drops in caregiver participation in the workforce hit moms hardest, with "the steepest drops in summer employment...among moms with young school-age children, who require substantial supervision." Drops in women’s employment, the research shows, are "tightly synchronized with the start and duration of school summer breaks."
Adding insult to injury, the research also concludes that this drop in women’s participation and productivity during the summer season, particularly in the form of unpaid time off or leaving the workforce permanently or temporarily, contributes to the long-term gender gap in lifetime earnings and adversely impacts women’s promotion potential.
Yes, this is a systemic issue that requires systemic solutions, but it’s not going to be solved before the 4th of July.
That’s why every working parent—especially moms—needs a Summer Survival Guide to make the most of the season. I’ve included three strategies to help caregivers transform their summer scramble into summer sanity (Italian ices optional, but highly recommended).
1. Audit Your Calendar.
The best way to get ahead of the summer scramble on your calendar is to audit it:
On what days/weeks do you have care gaps that need to be plugged?
What summer-specific work and personal or family commitments do you need to plan around, and have you started that process?
What times of day, or days of the week, do you have standing work commitments that are fine during the school year but conflict with summer parenting duties?
What are the things that make summer feel fun, and how/when will you get them on your calendar?
It sounds really simple, but many of us avoid asking these questions because the answers are so overwhelmingly stressful.
Sitting down with your calendar, alongside your partner, co-parent or any relevant day-to-day caregiving stakeholders in your family is essential to understanding your family's care/work gaps so you can make a plan to fill them in advance (instead of stressing out when the calendar reminder for your all-hands meeting pops up while you're in the carpool line).
2. Make A Game Plan
Took your audit even though it was scary and overwhelming? Fabulous! Now you can make a plan.
Plug care holes. Actively build out your care infrastructure to fill them, and don’t be shy about relying on others, whether that means asking a friend or neighbor to carpool, paying the high-schooler down the block to babysit for an hour or relying on family (something that has never been an option for us, as the closest grandparents live 250+ miles away).
Don’t make individual decisions, build systems. Rather than playing whack-a-mole every single day, systematize a new schedule, understanding who is "on" for which commitments. For example, who does drop-offs or pick-ups on what days? Who is responsible for watching the kids between 8am and 9am or 3pm and 6pm?
Make adjustments at work and communicate about them in advance. Instead of being consistently late or flakey for three months, determine what adjustments you need to make to your hours, in-office days or even specific meetings (e.g., does your monthly team meeting work when your kids are in school but not when they’re out?) and co-design a plan with your supervisor or other stakeholders in advance.
Prioritize your own self-care. Every single study out there has concluded that taking time for ourselves is good for us—our productivity, happiness, health and parenting. So combat the urge to tell yourself, "I just need to get through this season" and make a plan (as I wrote about recently) so you can enjoy the season of longer days.
Yes, plans will change, but having them builds structure and predictability into your routine.
3. Release Yourself From Guilt
It’s not your fault the system wasn't designed to support parents (especially working moms), so don't take that on as your personal guilt trip; it will sap your joy and your energy.
More specifically, don't take the failures of the system as a referendum on your parenting. Hold yourself to the standard of doing the best you can, making your kids feel loved and doing good work. That is enough.
To that end, don’t fall prey to FOPO, Fear of Other People’s Opinions. It can be tempting to compare yourself to others or worry about what others think of you. You are doing the best you can and have nothing to prove to anybody. Period.
Make plans to enjoy your summer as a family and manage reasonable expectations around them: What are the fun things you want to do with your kids? Remember, whether it’s playing catch, grabbing an ice cream or going on a vacation, it’s not all going to be Instagrammable. Hold yourself to the standard of being present, not picture-perfect.
Conclusion
The summer can be an absolute scramble, but it doesn’t have to be when we take charge of our priorities, calendars and goals.
Randi Braun is a certified executive coach and the author of Something Major: The New Playbook for Women at Work. Get in touch with Randi via email or social (below). Copyright 2024. All rights reserved.